Everyone lies a little on their profile, right?
Wrong! Sure, some people think that a little lie is no problem on their profile… it’s like lying on your Resume… The difference here is that while your employer may never find out that you can’t speak Urdu, your date is going to know that you are 5’8” when you said you were 6’. It may seem like a little lie, but it can make your date start to second guess every other thing you have ever told them. Another great example of this is when people say that they are divorced when they are in fact separated. The thought behind this is that “no one wants to date someone who is separated.” First of all, that just isn’t true. More importantly, imagine this… You say that you are divorced when you are in fact just separated. You meet someone and go on a couple of dates. Things are going great and you decide to tell them the truth. “Oh, I have to tell you that I am actually still going through my divorce…” How does that make your date feel? How would it make you feel to find out that you are connecting with someone but they neglected to tell you that legally, they are still married? Not good… Not good at all.
When it comes to dealing with the facts just be honest and you will connect with the people who you are meant to. A great profile is not supposed to be about getting you more first dates. It’s supposed to be about getting you more second dates. Lies may get you in the door, but they are sure to get you kicked right back out.
Is there such a thing as too honest?
Honesty is always the best policy, but there are some things that are better left unsaid. There are a lot of times when your instinct will want you to lay it all on the line and talk about some of the baggage that you are still carrying from past relationships. DO NOT DO THIS. You are only asking for more of the same.
In a lot of people’s minds, it makes sense to ask for honesty from a match. The problem is that honesty is one of those things that are expected. If you have to ask for it, it just makes it sound like you were lied to in a past relationship but have not fully gotten over your trust issues.
The weird thing is that adding in these baggage based items can have the opposite effect from what you want in your profile. While asking for honesty can serve as a potential red flag for the good people who are reading your profile, it can also serve as a magnet for the undesirables. When a liar sees that you have been lied to in the past, they may see an opening for you to be an easy person to lie to in the future. This can potentially set you into a cycle of continually dating the people you are trying to avoid until you get to the point where you just give up. In short, what you project is what you attract. When you project yourself as the healthy and happy person who you are, that is what will come back to you, but when you project yourself as a wounded bird, all you will attract are hungry coyotes.